Dangerfox
This will be my first date ever. We are going to the movies at 6 on a friday. What movie? Holding hands? Please help.
91 Replies
Alakawaii
tell her/him they suck, spit in their face, pull down your pants and fart in their general direction then turn around, pants down, and do the helicopter dick to impress her/him.
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
First dates can be difficult and we here at CHAT are glad to help you out! Just ask the many socially awkward experts we have available as part of our team! They will love to get you to meet that special someone to spend the rest of your life with because social cues dictate that to be the norm.
Seriously though, I've only ever had one girlfriend and I'm 22 so it's safe to say, I don't know girls very well. But if I had to offer you legitimate advice, dress casually but 'smartly'; i.e. wear a shirt and moderate amount of perfume, compliment her appropriately i.e 'you look lovely,' and motorboat the shit out of those titties. I mean just dig deep in there and make slurping noises with your mouth, y'know? Oh shit you're like 15 aren't you? Fuck, I'm outta this thread.
Dangerfox
I asked if she wanted to see fifty shades of grey as a joke and she said Sure. It's rated R and im only 14 so i dont think thats an option.
B0r1ng
@Dangerfox: Wow, not even on your first date and you already can't deliver on your promises. What a great relationship this will turn out to be.
TenaciousTuttle 6/10 Art Guy
Avoid Chappie like the goddamn plague. Otherwise just play it cool and don't touch their butt unless you ask first.
ADashofRainbow
Don't be an idiot and just watch the movie, hold hands or some shit I made that mistake on my first date
Mike OVERLORD
@B0r1ng:
You want to do something fun and memorable. Movies are so boring, and if not, they will remember the movie, not you.
TenaciousTuttle 6/10 Art Guy
@B0r1ng:
I personally really didn't like how it just turns into an action movie. Also Chappie beating a man to death with his robot baby hands was strange.
AwYeah @super_legit
@Mike: Yeah, but he's 14. He should do something easy he won't fuck up. They won't last anyway.
Parks Ass To Ass
Do some dirty/nasty butt sex right in the Theater, it'll be memorable as fuck and scar all the people in the theater as well as the Employees.
Alakawaii
Real talk? Bend her over in the ticket line and start dry humping really fast like a dog and then cum on the floor and look at her with a smug, Gary oak-like grin. If she leaves then hold her hand and look her in the eyes and say "I'm so sorry about that... you see, I have a mental disability called tourettes and i just have outbursts i really can't control... If you want to leave now then i would understand... I wish i could control it..." if she still leaves whatever and if she doesn't and she pities you ask for a pity blow job after the movie/in the theatre. If she does leave it was a win because you are no longer a virgin, if she doesnt then bang her later and become a double not virgin. GG!
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
When you come home, be sure to text her saying 'gr8 d8 m8 can't h8 i r8 8/8' and more memes like that; she will absolutely love you to bits.
B0r1ng
@absolutezilch: What are the chances she's going to respond with "Don't understand the reference."
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
@B0r1ng: I would say it's a match made in heaven considering she used a CHAT-centric meme in response but I think @Dangerfox doesn't use CHAT enough to understand the reference of not understanding the reference.
bubblejuice kose mochen
@Dangerfox:
Hygiene is very important. Be dress appropriately for your date, put a little cologne on, none of that Axe shit.
Be aware that she is just as nervous to go on this date as you are. What you're trying to do is break that barrier, show her that your someone she can relax and be herself with.
Take her out to dinner first. It doesn't have to be fancy. When talking to each other make eye contact, sit up straight. Ask her about her day, that she looks pretty in what she's wearing, things she likes. Find things that you both share a common interest in.
Just be yourself, it's okay to hold hands. Just slowy grab her hand, and see if she's comfortable with it.
You have no money and you can't drive, it seems perfectly acceptable to have a movie date at your age. Movies I recommend are Big Hero 6, Paddington, Cinderella, The Spongebob movie. (I don't know about that last one. I'd take a girl out to go watch Spongbob, but I have no idea what's cool to a 14 year old.)
When the dates over tell her you had fun and give her a hug goodbye. Girls like to take things slow, so don't expect a kiss on a first date. But hey, depending on how well it went and how comfortable you're around each other, there is the possibility of hitting first base.
B0r1ng
@bubblejuice: Hey, how about giving some serious advice here? Either suggest Dangerfox tell her something along the lines of "Are you an angel? Cuz... have sex with me" or GTFO.
bubblejuice kose mochen
@B0r1ng:
my fault.
Hey Dangerfox, instead of the movies take her to your house and say your making her dinner. When she ask what's for dinner put a plate in front of her and say "my dick" and plop your slong on the dinner plate. Put parsley on top of it so she knows it's fancy.
mrbutthole
Ask her, "What's the best thing about sex with twenty eight year olds?" and if she replies, "there are twenty of them," run or stay accordingly.
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
@bubblejuice: Yeah, I second that. Also, remember it's only 25 minutes on 374 °F. Any more of either time or temperature and you might overcook it.
Bartek
CHAT never seizes to amaze me... it's literally like an upgraded version of Yahoo Answers now :D
cannonofdoom Superannuate
Take her to see something good, or something funny. The new Cinderella comes out Friday, so that's actually a good option. Just be yourself, and have a good time.
Jade
Take her to do something fun. like a nature walk . Do something where you get to talk and bond.
AwYeah @super_legit
Replying to OP: I think the best question is, what the hell did you expect asking CHAT?
Kingnicolas6
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Chloroform-Trichloromethane-ACS-99-9-Certified-100ml-/231193819484?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item35d439b95c
Dangerfox
@Mike: I will, thanks for the advice home dog. Change of plans though instead of the movies we are going to Panera. All the movies playing now are shit so I'll take her out to dinner. But, She's now bringing her ugly friend along. What a cockblock that'll be. Remember I'm only 14 so try and keep it PG-13 in your ideas.
Dangerfox
If anyone lives in the Winston-Salem, Highpoint area someone could tag along with me. Distract her ugly friend while I flirt it up with her.
Dangerfox
Change of plans again. Instead of Panera I went with the more financially sound option, Starbucks.
B0r1ng
@Dangerfox:
You: Change of plans for the 10th time- We've decided never to meet each other again.
bubblejuice kose mochen
@Dangerfox:
if a CHAT member double dates with you it will most likely end with statutory rape.
KorporalKitty PAM
@Dangerfox:most people on chat are older than 14 so if someone did that would be so fucked up.
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
@LouAPinto: It would be like a goddamn playdate xD
@Dangerfox: Good luck, kiddo. Also, a general life tip, don't be vain. Sometimes, the prettiest people do the ugliest things.
AwYeah @super_legit
@absolutezilch: He's 14. He has to go on looks, personalities don't really develop until about 18 anyway.
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
@B0r1ng: Usually my dick.
However, it seems more appropriate in this context to explain what I said previously. I don't know man, maybe this is a personal insecurity of mine considering I'm not much of a looker too but it bothers me just a little bit when someone calls someone else 'ugly'. Even though, technically it's being vain in the other extreme where it's caring about looks in the negative sense. Typically if one wanted to abstain from being vain, (s)he wouldn't care about being ugly or pretty but I don't know, it's just a little bit off-putting when someone devalues the presence of someone else because of their appearance.
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
@AwYeah: You're right. I'm probably being over-analytical about this. Sorry, @dangerfox. Maybe take heed about this advice when you're slightly older, haha. xD
KorporalKitty PAM
Are you sure it's a date and you are not just hanging out with a girl outside of school?
- +1
B0r1ng
@LouAPinto: The girl's actually his babysitter and he's just excited to meet her outside of the house.
- +1
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
@AwYeah: Thanks! It's close to my name (Zaman) so I thought it was neat that it became a recurring joke with the penises.
Mike OVERLORD
@Dangerfox:
Speaking of which, you should introduce her to IB. Get her to vote EVERYDAY!
Zac Sheriff
@Dangerfox:Alright i just need an address and the approximate time you leave your house everyday
Dangerfox
So. A couple hours talking at Starbucks I said lets go to pet co. So when we arrived at petco we awwed at all the hamsters and shit. Then I Was getting kind of bored. I found my balls and asked her to come back to my place to hang out. She said yes. We just hung out and talked and laughed. Her mom picked her up at my house at 10 and then the dammdest thing happened. She hugged me and said lets do this again sometime.
AwYeah @super_legit
@Dangerfox: Good job. Did better than I did at that age. Hell, did better than I did until I was 18.
IceCube Grand Wizard
Didn't even try to get it in? You fucked up m8.
Seriously though, good job dude.
B0r1ng
@bubblejuice: What kind of low-level sack of shit are you? Can't we just enjoy the idea of two innocent kids on their first date and not have it be anything more or less than that? What kind of shit-tier forum do you think this is? This is CHAT of all places; you sad, infantile, degrading excuse for a human being.
absolutezilch Hey Big Zam!
@Dangerfox: Good job man, gratz!
Don't worry about the pics. I'm sure he was just kidding... I think.
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