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Waiting and Tips

McVear

So I have a question for the enlightened masses of the IBP community:

What is your stance on tips to give to waiters? What do you normally give them? Do you change the amount based on if they did an exceptionally good job or awfully bad one?

98 Replies

SpartanJason

RO­LF

aStingyMiser

I saw a waitress today who was missing an arm. She brought me a plate full of ribs. Those were good ribs, I've got to HAND it to her.

KimmyJ

King Chad

Replying to AStingyMiser: Mrs. Jensen in the works.

aStingyMiser

The food did cost an arm and a leg, though.

Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:
You have to HAND it to her, she probably gave an ARM and a leg to be where she is today.
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Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:
Fuck I was reading how to Carlos and you used one of the two puns

aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: I just made both of those puns you unoriginal fuck I'm glad the restaurant REACHED OUT to help her.

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McVear

Replying to AStingyMiser:
God damnit, I nearly fell off my seat laughing. I sure hope those ribs were FINGER licking.

KimmyJ

King Chad

Replying to Nate:

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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: They say great minds think alike! Which I guess means shithead fuckfaces do too.


McVear: They were actually pretty good. It was pretty impressive how well she HANDled herself.

Huh. We can’t seem to load this image.


I wish I'd asked for chicken fingers so I could've said "Mm, I sure will enjoy all ten of these fingers!"

McVear

Replying to AStingyMiser:
Well, asking for some good ribs is usually a rule of THUMB.

Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:
Well did you eat all of the ribs, or did you save the WRIST for later?
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: Actually yes. They're in a box. I can't wait to reach in, grasp them in both my hands, and bring them slowly to my mouth, savoring them, and then wiping both my hands.

Too soon?

aStingyMiser

This thread's gotten pretty HUMERUS.
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Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
Waaaay too soon. Made me facePALM a little.
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate:I wonder if she checks up on the baked chicken while it's in the oven. She might be tasked with FLIPPING THE BIRD.
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LaughingMan9

Generally this. But I'm normally in a group situation so I throw in just to avoid a Mr. Pink situation.

I live in New Jersey and out of state people are usually surprised that we don't tip gas station attendants.

aStingyMiser

Unrelated, but did anyone else think that this thread was about ways to cope with having to pass time whilst coping with the yet-to-be arrival of something?

Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:
Dude imagine if she actually read this shit. She would give us both KNUCKLE sandwiches.
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ΞNDΞRMΞN

I doubt that she'd go the LENGTH to find us.

aStingyMiser

Nvrmind.

McVear

Replying to LaughingMan9:
My idea is everyone should tip at least 2 bucks a piece for average service. And I've never known about tipping gas attendants (but I'm from oklahoma, so fuck everything I know).

aStingyMiser

I hardly want to GRASP the idea!
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Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
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aStingyMiser

Who even knows if she uses such DIGITal media as this?
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McVear

Replying to AStingyMiser:
I hope she has the ability to GRAB hold of the situation.

aStingyMiser

Alright, seriously guys, the jokes need to be CUT OFF.
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McVear

Replying to AStingyMiser:
I agree, these jokes have HELD ON to the topic for a while.

Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:

Sounds like a PHALANGEnius idea
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KimmyJ

King Chad

Replying to AStingyMiser: Why would you sever the stream of jokes just now? I'm biting my finger nails just waiting for more!

aStingyMiser

Replying to McVear: We need to upHOLD a higher standard of jokes.
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aStingyMiser

Rather than sound the alarm when she brought me food, I figured I'd just LEPER do it.
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Actually she insisted she set the plate down rather than just let me do it.

Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:

You are WRITE. I can't HOLD the burden of making puns on my SHOULDER any more.
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McVear

Replying to AStingyMiser:
Hopefully this experience didn't CRIPPLE your idea of restaurants.

Fuck I'm horrible.

aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: The ideas are starting to ATROPHY anyways. The whole market has sort of just become a STUB of what it once was. I hate to see it go before it's time, though.
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aStingyMiser

Replying to McVear: That's a very LEFT-WING statement, don't you think?
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(she was missing her right arm BTW)

McVear

Replying to AStingyMiser:
Well lets hope that I didn't PUSH my ideals at you.

aStingyMiser

I almost wish this thread were DISABLED. It's getting out of HAND.
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aStingyMiser

Replying to McVear: I think I CATCH your drift.
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Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
You are just going to have to LET GO, because I can see the puns getting more cursory and UNDERDEVELOPED
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: This thread just turned into a HORRIBLE ACCIDENT.
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Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
Yeah, I am starting to actually FEEL bad.
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: These are just the TIPS of the iceberg.
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aStingyMiser

I just remembered there was a pretty abnormal bone in my ribs. It was a pretty FUNNY BONE, to be honest.
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dashing rainbow

these puns are really good, I've got to HAND it to you guys

Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:
You might want to check that out, or maybe just take it out yourself. All it takes is a little ELBOW grease.
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aStingyMiser

Replying to dashing rainbow: Thanks, we really put our best FOOT forward.
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...Oh wait.

Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:

Not fair, you never told me we are switching to foot puns. Now you have a RUNNING start. You got a LEG up on me, about a few STEPS ahead. No worries though, as you are only in front of me by a couple of FEET
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McVear

Replying to Nate:
These puns sure JUMPED ahead.

aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: I'm surprised you had the BALLS to do it. I would've HEELED when I saw how far back I was.
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Nate

BANNED

Replying to Nate:

And you can KNEEL down now, for I am the master of all of these HIP new puns.

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aStingyMiser

Replying to McVear: We're LEAPS AND BOUNDS ahead of where we were before in this thread. And just think this could just be BRIDGING THE GAP to something new.
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Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
Haha, all of our puns TOEtally BOOTED out the original, SOLE purpose of this thread.
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McVear

Replying to AStingyMiser:
I guess I'll just SHUFFLE on home then. I'd have to SPRINT to keep up.

aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: We just WALKED out on the previous puns though. I didn't mean to completely SHOE them away.
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Nate

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Replying to McVear:

don't beat yourself up, you aren't too bad, and you definitely don't SOCK at it.
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McVear

Replying to Nate:
I'd like to think I STEPPED UP to the challenge.

Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
Well those ones were pretty funny, but I am also getting a KICK out of these ones
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dashing rainbow

thinking of all these puns is a difficult FEET

aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: Relax, thinking I suck is the LACED of my problems.
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Nate

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Replying to dashing rainbow:
Yeah, soon we will run out of puns and it will go to HEEL real fast.
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: Hey! You're TREADING on old ground! I don't mean to HIKE up standards, but I'm afraid something's AFOOT!
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Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
That whole "you don't suck" thing was for McVear, but I could see how you might have FLIP-FLOPPED the recipient of that response.
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: Seem's I'm TRAILING BEHIND.
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Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
Oops, didn't realize I was STANDING back where we started.
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dashing rainbow

Replying to AStingyMiser: my puns will give you a RUN for your money

aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: You certainly must be PULLING MY LEG!
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prodocol

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"This thread is just a clucking mess"

dashing rainbow

this thread has relly come to a STANDSTILLCHAT Image

Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
Nah, I just wasn't paying much aTENDON
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Bello6

I'm literally crying of laughter

dashing rainbow

we need TOE stop this madness
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Bello6: Maybe they just strike you at the right ANKLE.
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Chenzo

( ͡° ͜ʖ

I love you all.

Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:
You know we are doing a good JOG at making puns if we are able to make people cry of laughter
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Chenzo: It's about time you got SHIN here!
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Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:

You are right, he's pretty late. We were STOMPING the ground flat for this pun train like an hour ago.
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dashing rainbow

the arm puns where CALF as good as these
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: Let's not go DOWN THAT ROAD again. They were a bit of a STEP DOWN.
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McVear

Replying to AStingyMiser:
I thought we had PUNTED those a long time ago.

Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
For sure, that is DR. SCHOLLd news.
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aStingyMiser

Replying to Nate: I'm glad we sPED past those so quickly.
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aStingyMiser

Also, did we need to SHOEHORN these puns in? I feel bad for just ignoring what was designed as its initial purpose.
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Nate

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Replying to AStingyMiser:
I agree, this just seems like lighter THIGHd of the moon with these one. Too bad CALF of the page is still full of that nonsense.
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McVear

PUN

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Nate

BANNED

Replying to AStingyMiser:
You are right, we kind of WAISTed poor McVear's post with our nonsense. I'm game for a truce, to end this MARATHON once and for all.
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McVear

Replying to Nate:
Well I didn't mind, this post was quite a KICKER to me.

Chenzo

( ͡° ͜ʖ

Replying to Nate: I was at work all day and my phone stinks without proper Wi-Fi connection.



I guess you can say it was hard for me to put my FOOT in the door

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Nate

BANNED

Replying to Chenzo:
Eh, well you missed the crazy pun train. But I'm pretty sure Stingy and I are finished, and we can just call it a 50-50 SPLIT on the win.
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aStingyMiser

I'm saddened that this thread didn't last long. It's a real BUMmer.
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prodocol

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"Uganda be kidding me!"

Deleted user

Another thread ruined...

Bello6

Replying to MadBadCoyote:So amazing amright?

McVear

I was entertained.

sonny88p

Replying to OP:Depends on the culture
in some cultures they don't need tips because they already get a good wage and they don't care if you don't tip, but tipping will make them super happy
in other cultures they get mad when no tip is given because they get paid so little they need the tips

McVear

Replying to sonny88p:
I'm a waiter in Oklahoma and I don't know what the minimum wage is for other states but it's really bad without tips for me.

I think when I visited Europe years ago a couple of countries (I think Germany and Switzerland) didn't like being tipped. Apparently it was offensive or something.

Parks

Ass To Ass

Another Carlos thread............

aStingyMiser

I don't mean to BUTT in, but bump.
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