McVear
So I have a question for the enlightened masses of the IBP community:
What is your stance on tips to give to waiters? What do you normally give them? Do you change the amount based on if they did an exceptionally good job or awfully bad one?
98 Replies
aStingyMiser
I saw a waitress today who was missing an arm. She brought me a plate full of ribs. Those were good ribs, I've got to HAND it to her.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
You have to HAND it to her, she probably gave an ARM and a leg to be where she is today.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
Fuck I was reading how to Carlos and you used one of the two puns
aStingyMiser
Replying to Nate: I just made both of those puns you unoriginal fuck I'm glad the restaurant REACHED OUT to help her.
McVear
Replying to AStingyMiser:
God damnit, I nearly fell off my seat laughing. I sure hope those ribs were FINGER licking.
aStingyMiser
Replying to Nate: They say great minds think alike! Which I guess means shithead fuckfaces do too.
McVear: They were actually pretty good. It was pretty impressive how well she HANDled herself.
I wish I'd asked for chicken fingers so I could've said "Mm, I sure will enjoy all ten of these fingers!"
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
Well did you eat all of the ribs, or did you save the WRIST for later?
aStingyMiser
Replying to Nate: Actually yes. They're in a box. I can't wait to reach in, grasp them in both my hands, and bring them slowly to my mouth, savoring them, and then wiping both my hands.
Too soon?
aStingyMiser
Replying to Nate:I wonder if she checks up on the baked chicken while it's in the oven. She might be tasked with FLIPPING THE BIRD.
LaughingMan9
Generally this. But I'm normally in a group situation so I throw in just to avoid a Mr. Pink situation.
I live in New Jersey and out of state people are usually surprised that we don't tip gas station attendants.
aStingyMiser
Unrelated, but did anyone else think that this thread was about ways to cope with having to pass time whilst coping with the yet-to-be arrival of something?
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
Dude imagine if she actually read this shit. She would give us both KNUCKLE sandwiches.
McVear
Replying to LaughingMan9:
My idea is everyone should tip at least 2 bucks a piece for average service. And I've never known about tipping gas attendants (but I'm from oklahoma, so fuck everything I know).
KimmyJ King Chad
Replying to AStingyMiser: Why would you sever the stream of jokes just now? I'm biting my finger nails just waiting for more!
aStingyMiser
Rather than sound the alarm when she brought me food, I figured I'd just LEPER do it.
Actually she insisted she set the plate down rather than just let me do it.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
You are WRITE. I can't HOLD the burden of making puns on my SHOULDER any more.
McVear
Replying to AStingyMiser:
Hopefully this experience didn't CRIPPLE your idea of restaurants.
Fuck I'm horrible.
aStingyMiser
Replying to Nate: The ideas are starting to ATROPHY anyways. The whole market has sort of just become a STUB of what it once was. I hate to see it go before it's time, though.
aStingyMiser
Replying to McVear: That's a very LEFT-WING statement, don't you think?
(she was missing her right arm BTW)
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
You are just going to have to LET GO, because I can see the puns getting more cursory and UNDERDEVELOPED
aStingyMiser
I just remembered there was a pretty abnormal bone in my ribs. It was a pretty FUNNY BONE, to be honest.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
You might want to check that out, or maybe just take it out yourself. All it takes is a little ELBOW grease.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
Not fair, you never told me we are switching to foot puns. Now you have a RUNNING start. You got a LEG up on me, about a few STEPS ahead. No worries though, as you are only in front of me by a couple of FEET
aStingyMiser
Replying to Nate: I'm surprised you had the BALLS to do it. I would've HEELED when I saw how far back I was.
Nate BANNED
Replying to Nate:
And you can KNEEL down now, for I am the master of all of these HIP new puns.
aStingyMiser
Replying to McVear: We're LEAPS AND BOUNDS ahead of where we were before in this thread. And just think this could just be BRIDGING THE GAP to something new.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
Haha, all of our puns TOEtally BOOTED out the original, SOLE purpose of this thread.
McVear
Replying to AStingyMiser:
I guess I'll just SHUFFLE on home then. I'd have to SPRINT to keep up.
aStingyMiser
Replying to Nate: We just WALKED out on the previous puns though. I didn't mean to completely SHOE them away.
Nate BANNED
Replying to McVear:
don't beat yourself up, you aren't too bad, and you definitely don't SOCK at it.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
Well those ones were pretty funny, but I am also getting a KICK out of these ones
Nate BANNED
Replying to dashing rainbow:
Yeah, soon we will run out of puns and it will go to HEEL real fast.
aStingyMiser
Replying to Nate: Hey! You're TREADING on old ground! I don't mean to HIKE up standards, but I'm afraid something's AFOOT!
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
That whole "you don't suck" thing was for McVear, but I could see how you might have FLIP-FLOPPED the recipient of that response.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
You know we are doing a good JOG at making puns if we are able to make people cry of laughter
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
You are right, he's pretty late. We were STOMPING the ground flat for this pun train like an hour ago.
aStingyMiser
Also, did we need to SHOEHORN these puns in? I feel bad for just ignoring what was designed as its initial purpose.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
I agree, this just seems like lighter THIGHd of the moon with these one. Too bad CALF of the page is still full of that nonsense.
Nate BANNED
Replying to AStingyMiser:
You are right, we kind of WAISTed poor McVear's post with our nonsense. I'm game for a truce, to end this MARATHON once and for all.
Chenzo ( ͡° ͜ʖ
Replying to Nate: I was at work all day and my phone stinks without proper Wi-Fi connection.
I guess you can say it was hard for me to put my FOOT in the door
Nate BANNED
Replying to Chenzo:
Eh, well you missed the crazy pun train. But I'm pretty sure Stingy and I are finished, and we can just call it a 50-50 SPLIT on the win.
Deleted User
Another thread ruined...
sonny88p
Replying to OP:Depends on the culture
in some cultures they don't need tips because they already get a good wage and they don't care if you don't tip, but tipping will make them super happy
in other cultures they get mad when no tip is given because they get paid so little they need the tips
McVear
Replying to sonny88p:
I'm a waiter in Oklahoma and I don't know what the minimum wage is for other states but it's really bad without tips for me.
I think when I visited Europe years ago a couple of countries (I think Germany and Switzerland) didn't like being tipped. Apparently it was offensive or something.
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