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Poem For Every IB Podcast Member

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

So they're all in one place for Mike to find.

18 Replies

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

There was once a chap named Andrew,
who wiped his jizz on a wall now yellow.
He could do nothing about the forensic evidence,
except make boom boom in his pants.

One day he told his story on the internet,
the world laughed at his red face.
Though his stories were comedic heaven-sent,
he still made that wall his bitch.

What could he do, our beloved Andrew?
He could do nothing at all.
It began and ended in the jizz he did spew...
All over that fucking wall.

What would be if he did forget...
What wall he did rub his jizz.
How his face would then begin to self-destruct,
almost as hard as upon the wall he busted those nuts...

O, Andrew, O Andrew, O lad...
Do not forsake us with your face so red.
We are not ready to live in a Fallout land,
please keep the red on your face and your dick in your pants.

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

(Version One)

Roamed did a young man named Mike,
who swore to be a furry for life.
Though this he did deny,
for he had shame in what he did masturbate to and cry.

Then came a box,
a box of the internet.
Mike would briefly put down the anthropomorphic cock,
for he found a new outlet.

A hero was thus born,
a hero called the white knife.
Through the darkness cut and torn,
there would stand Mike.

In all honesty this was an elusive fantasy,
which to Mike would masturbate.
Full of everything furry and My Little Pony,
all of which Mike would desecrate.

To Mike if felt right in the moment,
even Barbara's dick he yearned to suck.
But when his sexuality did forsake him,
he was still a twisted faggot furry fuck.

(Version 2)

There is a lad called Mike,

he is a pretty swagger dude.

His favourite pony is Fluttershy,

but his least favourite thing is grade twos.


Some say he is a full boy,

but I know him as the white knife.

Marinara he does enjoy,

when through the darkness he does slice.


Eating bones will give you calcium,

so says Midnight Mike.

They are full of nutrition,

so why not have a bite?


Kroon was KKK before the Klu Klux Klan,

so your lawns are quite safe.

But beware of banana fan,

and eating teeth.

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

There is a lad named Dylon,
his body like that of an infant.
Though he spells his name wrong,
the internet would come to love him.

He and Andrew sound exactly the same,
only a fool would say otherwise.
The difference, however, is that they are one guy going by two names.
This alone should satisfy.

Dylon himself, while a prestigious internet boxer,
so worthy of mention and praise,
who the fuck has the answer... (Michael, Andrew)
to how he rose to fame.

But to insult Dylon I wish not to do,
for he is so better than Mike.
He was not stoned by grade twos,
and his flesh sees much more light.

He cooked with Sir Michael...
in the kitchens of Texas.
The scene was a little homosexual,
but this is why he is loved by us.

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

An ode to the one named Barbara,
whose dick shall forever throb.
Her foes split right open,
by the almighty whale cock.

Fuck the worst community manager ever,
JK, we have fun.
Though among us are blasphemers,
Andrew and Dylon.

Hanukkah up in this shit like Rugrats,
Kwanzaa, what the fuck is that?
O Barbara, an ode to thee,
the one who beholds Cetacean she-meat.

Hails, O best community manager,
managing the IB podcast like Pax East.
Finger sucking to the naysayers,
to then be raped by the W.C.

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

Alas, upon us is now Ray.
He who we call Puerto Rican thunder.
Fighting that chaos like MJ.
Bringing the ruckus.

When again shalt we hear squeaky chair?
Why hast thou forsaken the bees?
Yet you do what no mortal man may dare.
Ron Burgandying through the chaos city streets.

Though you have an ab too many,
we certainly love you so.
You are utterly winning,
like that guy kicking the soap.

Ray, o Ray,
for you a member of the podcast went gay.
His ass out and in the air like the guy on the trampoline.
You can't be tamed.

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

O Lindsay Tuggy,
thou art the great spoiler.
Your name is a euphemism for a handy,
though you have achievement unlocked Michael.

Shout out to Taco Bell,
or whatever you two talked about.
For upon us all fate befell,
and you ended up on the podcast.

You got moves like Jagger,
and a goddamn cat card.
Meow, Meow, Meowing forever,
I'm surprised it hasn't made Michael go full retard.

You used to beat people up,
just because you could.
You were out of control,
it was totally unacceptable.

But now you are beating up our hearts,
as gay as that must sound.
Hide the cat card so Michael doesn't tear it apart,
and continue spoiling every movie talked about.

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

Harken, it is Michael!
Jewish or Jersey Shore?
As if there is a difference,
in the eyes of gay Dumbledore

Always emphasizing the stupidity of others,
like when Andrew locked himself out of his car.
Or when Midnight Mike goes nutter,
and when Lindsay spoils too much.

You weren't there for the bees,
but you still hold true.
For upon us you brought Tuggy,
and Lindsay is a pretty swagger dude.

Hear now this hymn delivered unto thee,
which honors your sacred rage.
Bring back Sigourney Wiener,
or the cat card Lindsay shall play.

Tereall

Calm down NGF. Post has been censored.

jiffylube

Replying to Tereall: I'll do you ;)

Tereall

Calm down NGF. Post has been censored.

jiffylube

Replying to Tereall: I wouldn't forget

FappingBlackGuy

OW;TheJosher

Replying to Tereall: I'll post it as a comment on your profile.

Tereall

Calm down NGF. Post has been censored.

jiffylube

Replying to Tereall: Time and place?

Tereall

Calm down NGF. Post has been censored.

jiffylube

Replying to Tereall: Sorry man I won't be able to make it. Maybe some other time?

Tereall

Calm down NGF. Post has been censored.

jiffylube

Replying to Tereall: We will talk about this some other time

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